Storytime

Last week I headed east...to my sister's place for five days. I knew before hand that she and my brother in law and my niece would be working...that it would be me and two teenage nephews (with an X Box fixation). So I planned accordingly. I took down lots of books, some colouring books I'd received as Christmas presents and my writing. I took down notebooks and hard copies and pens and papers...knowing I would have lots of time in the relative peace and quiet to write. However there was quite a lot of this... a bit of this... a lot of this... and even a bit of... So I bonded with the animals and the hammock. Always a good move. I went for a drive with my sister one day...so that meant a bit of.. some of this.... and a bit of this... I didn't write - well I think I wrote a paragraph.  That's it. But I read and I read, I read and I read. It was a total relax. Nothing major to think about, no plans to make,...

Hands up, I can't juggle. I even have difficulty throwing one ball up to catch on it's downward spiral. I'm just not co-ordinated or flexible enough. So imagine the trouble I have trying to do everything I want, or think I should do (and of course avoiding the guilt). Working part time means I have two days off a week - unless I'm called in - which happens more times than I care to think about. When someone in the youth area goes on holidays for a few weeks, I know I will be asked to work most of her days (because I can jump in and do her Storytime etc)....so a few weeks ago when someone went on holidays I forgot the art of balance. There was a writing workshop I was interested in...but it was to be held on one of those days....I ummed and ahhed. Work, as yet, had not asked me to come in, should I book, should I wait a few more days? Well I waited a few more days  then decided 'no, my writing is important to me and I do get a lot out of workshops,' so I ...

It's been one of those months. More work, less days spent writing- and of course - the guilt comes scurrying in. That voice that says, loud and clear, 'and you call yourself a writer!' In just that tone of voice that implies you should hang your head in shame and give it all up. I have written during the past month- a few poems, a short story, reworked a few old poems, submitted to an anthology, and scribbled over 4000 words on my YA novel - but still that voice persisted. Especially on one day. The day I did nothing. Cats understand chillaxin. They do very little apart from the art of relaxation. Us humans, however, have this inbuilt guilt. We think of everything else we SHOULD be doing. The washing, ironing, house cleaning, clearing out those cupboards that haunt us, and heh ...even writing. But sometimes we need to take a day off to recharge the batteries. To mope around the house, have a -dare I say cat nap? - to actually sit down and read in the afternoon witho...

By day I work part time in a public library (Youth Services where I run a weekly Storytime), I write by night. Well that was the original idea....By day earning a dollar, being surrounded by people (see material for my work), allowing my day/s off to be used for my writing. However did I mention I'm very good at procrastination. I would seemingly rather mop floors, vacuum, dust, put a load of washing on and even clean the oven - then face the cold blank space of my computer screen. And today I scoured my en-suite- I think this is due to a friend's influence who is spring cleaning her house ready for a sale. I'm not selling my house but I appear to be infected by the spring cleaning bug :( However I do write. The guilt of not writing builds, as well as the urge to create. And with the support of family, friends and my writing group (Lazy River Writers) I do manage to put words down, to try and pin down those whirling thoughts, to make sense of what I'm thinking. ...