DOING WHAT IS EXPECTED....
A few months ago I went off to the poetry event at Christmas Hills (a very good gig if anyone is heading out that way) and for the past few times I had given myself the challenge of memorising one of my poems to recite.
I always admire poets that do this, simply recite without that piece of paper or book in their hand.
And yes, it's not that easy, and often I'll stumble or misplace a word or two, even edit as I go along (thankfully if it's a new poem no one in the audience will ever know)...but the reaction is always good. Always positive and encouraging.
But the last one I went to I was not feeling the best, was even hesitant about reading anything, was pushed (in a nice way) to read and had no poem to recite. So imagine how I felt when I stood up and someone said 'do you have a poem to recite for us' and when I said no..... they said 'awwwwww but that's what we wanted.'
I felt like I had not lived up to expectations. I had failed, not done what was expected.
But is that always a bad thing?
Yes there is a road in front of us, most will follow along, happy to know that there is a path.....easy access to what lies ahead. But what is to the left or right? What happens when you step off that road and venture cross country?
It won't be easy, there will be hills and mountains...valleys to cross....perhaps rivers difficult to navigate. And perhaps at the end of this ordeal there will be nothing amazing to see, no great discovery....at least you have shown that you have the courage and determination to take another route.
I always admire poets that do this, simply recite without that piece of paper or book in their hand.
And yes, it's not that easy, and often I'll stumble or misplace a word or two, even edit as I go along (thankfully if it's a new poem no one in the audience will ever know)...but the reaction is always good. Always positive and encouraging.
But the last one I went to I was not feeling the best, was even hesitant about reading anything, was pushed (in a nice way) to read and had no poem to recite. So imagine how I felt when I stood up and someone said 'do you have a poem to recite for us' and when I said no..... they said 'awwwwww but that's what we wanted.'
I felt like I had not lived up to expectations. I had failed, not done what was expected.
But is that always a bad thing?
Yes there is a road in front of us, most will follow along, happy to know that there is a path.....easy access to what lies ahead. But what is to the left or right? What happens when you step off that road and venture cross country?
It won't be easy, there will be hills and mountains...valleys to cross....perhaps rivers difficult to navigate. And perhaps at the end of this ordeal there will be nothing amazing to see, no great discovery....at least you have shown that you have the courage and determination to take another route.
In all seriousness writing is not a craft that requires physical courage.
Let's face it, what is the worst that could happen?
Paper cut?
Fall off your chair when over excited over a passage?
Keyboard imprint on your face when you nod off?
Blurred vision from staring at the screen for hours on end?
But it requires mental courage...to go somewhere new...try a new style / format / genre.
To write what is unexpected.
Especially when that way looks uninviting and restricted.
That's when you question whether you should do it. Do you have the audacity to attempt something new....out of your comfort zone.
At the moment I'm in a state of 'not-doing-much'.
For me it's a case of 'why bother?' I feel as though I've been climbing away at a mountain, step by step, some wavering steps, some strong and sure....and for every four steps upward there is a step that is misplaced, where I stumble and fall down. Slip down a few metres....or few hundred metres. Yet I have, in the past, picked myself up and kept on...step by slow step.
And then when I finally feel that I'm about to achieve something, that I am at the top of the mountain I look out...
to see how far I have yet to go.
At the moment I'm sitting down, getting my breath back, hoping to gain enough strength to venture down into the valley and over more hills and mountains. Or wondering if it's time to catch a taxi and head straight home.
Doing what is expected is comforting and soothing.
It is...to use a word I really don't like....nice.
The question is, how nice do you want to be?
So Vicki, naughty or nice list?
ReplyDeleteYou know there is another choice you might consider as you catch your breath, survey the view and look back at how far you have come with your original dream.
Maybe...just maybe ... you could gather strength (find it by recognising the things you have accomplished that you didn't think you could when you started out, and in really hearing the responses of those who enjoy your work and want more) and climb the last bit of your mountain.
Imagine the view - 360 degrees! The world layed out before you - a smorgasbord of destinations.
This is a choice, and you can do it - if that's what you choose; but there's no need to rush - make stops or step back to see the scene - enjoy your journey.