DRAWING A LINE...

I spent a lovely chilled and relaxing weekend with family. We had a house by the beach and even though it is winter, and it was freezing cold, mostly wet and very grey and foggy..I really enjoyed it.




It was a time to relax, to chat, to play with a baby,


to venture out for a meal, to stay in and nibble on leftovers and have a drink or two.

It was also when I decided to draw a line.

________________________

There was a part of me doing the whole "OMG you have a few moments, why aren't you writing? You should note that down, put that thought onto paper before it escapes". Another part realises that these times can never be taken for granted.

I could have chosen to write and ignored my family...but I chose them. Made them my priority.


And maybe food. But, I also decided to stop beating myself up over not having spent the weekend writing. Or even today, my designated writing day, writing.

Frankly, today I have spent the past five hours driving from one place to another to another, running errands. I arrived home ten minutes ago and I want to spend a little bit of time out in this suddenly glorious sunshine.

I want to walk in my garden...



Enjoy what's there and dream of what will come.

And I will not feel guilty that I have not spent my day off, madly scribbling away.

I want to spend more weekends like the past one, with those I love.


I want to go for walks, see things, be in the moment.

Watch little dragons...


Spend time with the grandkids...


I will write but only when I want to. Not the 'IT'S MY WRITING DAY I MUST WRITE'

If I want to spend the day in the garden, I will. (This is my get-away-from-it-all space)

If I want to spend the day out and about with family or friends, I will.

If I want to veg out and knit dinosaurs, I will.

If I want to bake, I will.

I refuse to make myself feel a failure because I had a few empty hours and I chose to do something else.


These are the moments I don't want to miss. My grandchildren are growing up so fast.

Miss Nine is almost a pre-teen, Miss Two has the attitude to match, and Baby Bear is almost a year old. I want to be there with them, for them. I want to spend time with my children. Have cuppas and catch ups with friends.

So, the line has been drawn. You don't know what will happen tomorrow.
Spending time with those I love is much more important.



It's not saying I won't write. I will. I have written this blog for instance and jotted  down a few lines of a poem this morning. But I refuse to wear the guilt.





Vicki 


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