SINGING THE WINTER BLUES....

Yep it is that time of the year, it is cold...damned cold (although I know my Dad will be saying it's colder up at his place, and it will be) ...and all I want to do is hibernate. But there are some things that have to be done, going to work the main one. As for the writing...what writing?

I seem to have come down with a severe case of blah....or in medical terms...the winter blues.

I have a small whiteboard near my writing desk and each month I put down my goals for the following weeks. Could be a deadline to meet, a poem to finish, a submission to get out there, a word count on a novel, an event to go to.

This is what my whiteboard looks like...

Empty. There is nothing on there...not a word, not a hint, not a suggestion of something to achieve for this month.

Pretty sad really. In fact I don't even have the birthday reminders that I put up there either. Like I said, the winter blues have come down hard and fast. I think a contributing factor is that I'm (still) struggling with a cold and therefore not feeling my best...but....but.....

Yep, excuses are what I'm coming up with.

Just because it is dark and cold...there is no reason to accept it. Time to pull myself up, give myself a good old fish slap and get going. Well that was the beginnings of my pep talk...but it is hard when your mojo just ups and goes.

I decided, since it was now seven months after setting out my yearly goals, to have a look at them. Perhaps they would inspire me, push me forward, get me motivated.

No such luck. In fact after looking at my 2013 goals, I didn't know whether to cry in frustration or laugh in the knowledge that I had ever thought of doing them in the first place.

At heart I am a pessimist, but had thought, with much work and internal pep talks,  I was heading towards a cheerier disposition and focus on life.  And I am in many ways.

It's just this writing business.

It tends to sap it out of you. Drag you down....

Then I look at it realistically. Have I had any rejections lately? No, because I have sent so little out.
Has there been any successes, no matter how small? And did I celebrate them?

Hmm...did I mention I was on local radio last week talking about the India trip? No.... Did I mention I came second in a short story competition and received a nice little cheque? No....Did I mention I was asked to read poetry at a venue next month?

You see.... there are positives....it's just that in this time of blah, hard to concentrate on them. To focus on the good.

I can't be the only writer that feels like this at times....well I hope I'm not (that would be scary).

So I will muddle on....will perhaps not do much....but I aim by the end of the day to have at least three things on my white board. And even if I ignore them, or pretend they are too hard or too difficult, that I have nothing worth saying, or nothing worth sending out...at least I will have made that effort, that first step.

And hopefully that first tentative step will lead to another step, and then another...and before you know it I'll be back in the swing of things.

Here's hoping.